OK let’s talk relationships.Â Many people say they want to experience true love with someone.Â They want to experience being loved unconditionally.Â They want the loyalty, respect and affection given by their significant other.Â So why is it that when so many have this they abuse it? Â And why has social media played a major role as a tool people have used to screw up their relationships? Â I’ll use Facebook as an example.
Example 1 (fictional names of course)
JJ is in a (supposedly) committed relationship with his girl KK.Â He has “engaged to KK” on his Facebook status since he proposed a few months ago.Â He posts loving pictures of them on his main page showing them affectionately hugging or kissing one another.Â They have a son together so he also posts family pictures.Â They look oh so happy and their pictures consistently get a lot of “Likes” and wonderful comments.Â But, unbeknownst to KK, JJ is in several “secret” Facebook groups.Â In these groups, the ladies typically post scantily-clad pictures of themselves posing rachetly (I know that’s not a real word but you get my point).Â The ladies often talk dirty and usually about how horny they are.Â And many of the guys are in the group just to see “what’s poppin'”.Â So why in the world would JJ be in such a group?Â Is this innocent and just a normal guy thing?Â Is it not a big deal since they aren’t yet married?Â What’s the deal here?
Example 2 (fictional names of course)
Kaykay is married to Jayjay.Â They’ve been married for several years and have three beautiful kids together.Â Between working, dealing with kids and other home-life responsibilities they still manage to find time for one another by having a date night at least once a month and taking fun, romantic trips to various destinations from time to time.Â Kaykay seems to be the model wife and they appear to have the model marriage that many people wish for.Â She takes great care of home cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids and, according to her, “putting it down” in the bedroom.Â Yet, she belongs to “secret” Facebook groups that gather for events usually a few times a month.Â For the most part, these groups are filled with people who are not in relationships or so they say.Â They often get together to eat, drink, dance and have a merry ol’ time.Â Yet, Kaykay has not brought her husband Jayjay to one event.Â Why is that?Â Does that seem a bit suspicious?Â Or is it OK for Kaykay to have time like this away from the hubby as her “me” time?
These are just two fictional examples loosely based on situations I’ve witnessed in real-life.Â Now, I’m certainly not one to judge and I strongly believe that couples should do what works best for them…even if what they do is not understood by others as what society would generally view appropriate for someone in a committed relationship.Â As much as I love social media, I think with the huge popularity of it people have found new ways to “play around” while in committed relationships.Â These “secret” groups are often filled with temptation to taste the fruit of what is readily available but can also screw up your relationship. So, in this time where social media has exploded and made it easier for us to communicate with others behind the convenience of a computer or mobile device, where should the line be drawn if at all?Â Do the examples show a real issue or a non-issue?Â How do you feel when it comes to social media and your relationship?
Stay tuned for more posts on this topic as I speak with relationship experts, counseling professionals, and even anonymous people who have something to say on this based on their own experiences.